


I'll love you for a thousand years

by alexisriversong



Series: COWT 2019 [8]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alien Technology, F/M, Gallifrey, Love, Love Conquers All, Song Lyrics, The Doctor is getting River back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-14 00:10:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18041705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexisriversong/pseuds/alexisriversong
Summary: The Doctor's journey to get his wife back.





	I'll love you for a thousand years

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this in 2015 then forgot about it until now. I finished it and now I'm posting it. If you see something that doesn't make sense with what happened in the show after season 9, it's because I wrote this before season 10 aired. 
> 
> I hope it's enjoyable. It was supposed to be a anniversary fic and get posted on the 22nd of April, but it's perfect for the COWT challenge by Lande di Fandom for the prompt: "Witnessing something horrible" so I'm posting it now.

_Heart beats fast_

The doctor was in his TARDIS. He had left Clara on her own for a while. She had had a terrible day, after dying every time inside his time stream, saving him and everyone that he had saved, she was going to need some time alone. And so did him.

He had seen so many horrible things during his long time in the Universe. He had never felt like today though. He sat on the stairs with his head between his hands. He looked at the clock that measured time inside the TARDIS.

A sad smile appeared on his face. The screen showed a date, April 22nd. He had said goodbye to his wife only a few months before but he hadn’t forgotten her yet, he believed he never would.  
  
Every time he thought about her riot of golden curls his heart rate increased and he felt tears prickling at his eyes. He swallowed his own sobs and buried his head between his hands.

_  
Colors and promises_

He constantly felt her loss, knowing he was not going to be able to see her again. He thought about what she reminded him of.  
  
She was his wife, she was Amy’s and Rory’s daughter, she was a connection to Gallifrey, the only similar thing to a time lord that he had. She was half human but she was more like him than she would ever know.

He remembered the flavor of her skin, the creamy golden of it, how soft it was under his hands. He had had to let her go, he had promised not to change anything of their past. He hadn’t even known her then…

It had been horrible to lose her like that, before even knowing her. And it hurt even more getting to know her, knowing he was going to loose her.

  _  
How to be brave_

He knew he shouldn’t cry. She had been just another one of his companions. All of them died or left, he should be used to it… but with her he couldn’tforget, she was so much more than a companion… He loved her.

He had no idea what to do, he needed to think about something else, all those feelings, those emotions, did nothing good to him. So he did what he did best.

He run!

_  
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall_

He was so afraid of his feelings. In the night, he kept dreaming of her death, how she had been able to come back as an hologram that he and Clara were the only ones able to see. Telepathic links were a very weird issue.

The Doctor had always known that he was able of great love, he loved a lot of people, but none of them was her. He had never gone to the library himself, not since she had died there. He decided it was time now, he was going to visit her.

It was like looking down a big hole, he was afraid she would be angry with him for leaving her like that. He had said goodbye, she had made him say it like he was coming back. Now he was actually going to. He needed to see her again.

Maybe he was going to be able to find a way to get her back. He hoped he was doing the right thing.

  _  
But watching you stand alone_

She was there, in the little computer screen that showed him the virtual world she was locked in.

River was beautiful, her long curls, her happy eyes, her smile, he just wanted to reach for her and pass his hands over each curve of her body, kiss her and hold her tight. He couldn’t, she was just a picture on a screen.

“Hello sweetie! I’m so happy you came back! I thought I would never see you again! Life in here can be so boring…”

He smiled, she was always the same, not even death could change her. His River. “Happy anniversary wife… I couldn’t stay in the TARDIS during such an important day” he answered sadly “I did say see you next time Doctor Song didn’t I?”

 _  
All of my doubt,_ s _uddenly goes away, somehow_

The smile on her face was contagious, he put his hand on the screen and she mirrored his movement. He knew he had never said it, he needed to. He looked into her eyes.

“I love you River Song”

“I love you too Doctor… I wish I could get out of here again”

“I know… I would like that… Maybe I could find a way to take you out of here”

She nodded and said nothing.

_One step closer_

He told her about what happened after she left Trenzalore and updated her on his travels, she told him about her life in the library’s database, she had a lot of time to read.

He felt close to her like he hadn’t been able to for a very long time.

They talked all day until the Doctor had to say his goodbyes and left her again. This time he knew he was going to find a way to take her back with him.

_  
I have died every day waiting for you_

He was back there, on Trenzalore, he knew this time he was going to die. He had lived a long life, he was happy with it, he knew that probably he was going to be able to join River like this. Dying of old age, not something usual for a time lord.

And then he was not dying anymore, he was regenerating again, it was time to change face, would he still love her? Would he feel the same?

He hadn’t been able to save her after all. He hadn’t found Gallifrey. He had achieved nothing. He promised to himself he was never going to forget his wife. His next face would continue to try and save her.

_  
Darlin' don't be afraid_

He was so confused in his new body. He didn’t remember about people, he didn’t know how to fly the TARDIS, but he remembered her. He knew he had to find Gallifrey and save her from the library database, he needed time lord technology the TARDIS was unable to provide for that.

He looked at himself in the mirror. He was old. Would she still love him? He would have to check. He had other things in his mind for the time being, like saving London from half-human robots and convincing Clara he was still himself.

Then he was off on his own again. It soon was the 22nd of April again and he decided to go meet his wife. He really hoped she would appreciate his more mature self.

  _  
I have loved you for a Thousand years_

When she appeared on the screen he could see her uncertainty. But then a flash of recognition and a smile appeared on her face.

“Hello sweetie! I like the new look… So mature!”

He smiled. “So… now I can’t call you Mrs Robinson anymore…”

“That is actually a good thing, I don’t like that nickname very much” she winked. They laughed together. He was still surprised his new body could laugh, he seemed so serious, maybe it was just her.

He had loved that woman in his other body, they had gotten married when he looked like a twelve year old, he still loved her.

  _  
I'll love you for a Thousand more_

They talked and talked again. He explained his plan to save her. He had to find Gallifrey first though. He told her about meeting his past regenerations, he remembered them. He had been such a narcissistic git in his tenth regeneration. They laughed at his stories.

When it was late and his throat was sore for all the speaking and laughing he decided to say his goodbyes.

“Sweetie” she stopped him “Remember I’ll always love you, no matter what face you have”

He nodded. “I know… I feel the same…” They shared a smile and she sent him a kiss.

 

_Time stands still_

And then, there was more running and the Master had come back as Missy, and he had to save the world again and again. He had to find Gallifrey though. His mind was always on the task when he was not running around with Clara.

He had grown so fond of the girl that when she died he was so very angry, he almost forgot about River. And then he was in that hell, punching a wall of Azbantium again and again, over billions of years. Like time had stopped him in that loop. It was her memory, together with the memory of Clara that kept him going.

_  
Beauty in all she is_

He never forgot her beauty, her smile, her voice, it was for her that he gave the last punch to the wall. It was for his friends, his lost companions, his past selves. Everyone he had lost. He remembered them while the Azbantium wall crumbled in front of him.

He wanted to save her, save himself, find Gallifrey. When he saw where he had ended up he was so angry! He had finally found his lost planet but it was their fault Clara died, he was not going to let them go so easily.

_  
I will be brave_

He was going to fight to get the technology he needed, he was going to save her, if possible save Clara too, and take the chip from Ashildr making her mortal again, she had lived long enough.

He was going to need to be brave. For once, he was not going to run. He was going to face them all. He walked toward his old city with as much sureness as he could master.

_  
I will not let anything take away, what's standing in front of me_

They were not going to be able to stop him. He was not going to let them win. He fought Rassilon and got Clara out of it. She couldn’t age and was stuck five minutes before her death, but he could see her again and she looked healthy.

He could see his own future standing in front of him. He stole a neuro blocker while running away with Clara. He needed it to save her. When the girl wasn’t looking, he stole another one and pocketed it. He knew that the Matrix was the only way to save River. If all the timelords regenerations were stored in there, she could also be there.

Clara had tricked him. He had lost her, had no idea where she was. He only realized the diner was a TARDIS and that the waitress he had been talking to was Clara all along, when it disappeared and he found himself facing her portrait on his own TARDIS door. He smiled. She was going to be okay. He had River to save now.

_  
Every breath, every hour has come to this_

He knew it. Everything he had lived, every death, torture and other horrible thing he had witnessed in his life, every happy moment, every smile, every laugh. They had all brought him to this exact moment in time. River was his past, present and future, he was going to save her.

He closed his eyes and breathed in and out, when he opened his eyes, he inserted the neuro blocker in the  TARDIS console and the Timelord was able to see the Matrix. It was full of all of the regenerations ever happened in all the universe. He scanned them over until he found the right one. River. She was supposed to have more regenerations than the ones she had before dying. He could see them all. They had been given to him. He had suspected. He could give her some back.

_One step closer_

He arrived at the library and was able to summon her hologram using his TARDIS. The closeness to the place she was actually in, helping to stabilize her. He smiled at her.

“I’m close sweetie. Are you ready to come back to me?”

“It depends on what you have to do to get me back Doctor”

“I’m not going to die if that’s what you fear. I’m just resetting some of your regenerations”

“What? How?” He showed her the Matrix and she smiled. “You found them”

“Yes, I did”

 

_And all along I believed I would find you_

He had known all along that he was going to succeed, he had no idea when that would happen but he knew it was going to happen. Now that he was here, setting the Matrix to stabilize her body and give her back her life, he almost couldn’t believe it was going to happen.

She didn’t ask why he was traveling alone. It was like she knew. He kissed her before pressing the button that would get her back to life. He looked forward to kissing her again when he was done.

_  
Time has brought your heart to me_

It had taken a long time but she was finally there again, flesh and bones and her double heartbeat steady in her chest. He could see her disbelief and her elation. She was back.

“I could never let you live there forever. You are Professor River Song, archeologist, you need your freedom”

“I thought you wanted to keep me now that I’m here again. Meeting in the right order for once”

“And where is the fun in that? We can travel together for a bit, you know I’ll be happy to see you every day. I won’t let you live in a cage just because I want you close though. You have been trapped for far too long already”  

_  
I have loved you for a thousand years_

She smiled and held him tight. “I love you sweety. I always did and I always will. It will be a pleasure to meet you again and again. In the order that the Universe thinks is right”

He smiled back and kissed her. This time he could touch and feel her differently. She was real. He would pass hours listening to her heartbeats. And he was going to. He had forever now. They had forever now.

_  
I'll love you for a thousand more_

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are love!


End file.
